I lost my cousin James today. I found out about it through a simple FaceBook post by his daughter in Florida saying Rest in Peace, Daddy, I’d not seen James for a very long time, not since my mother’s funeral in 1997 in fact. After my mother died I found no good reason to visit Sarasota, Florida where I grew up. My memories of childhood were not always pleasant.

Yet, even though I’d not seen James for a long time, his death has touched me in a deep way. Is it because he is the first of our generation to leave this world, or is it something else? Perhaps it is our shared experiences of family, or of growing up on that small dusty road, Herndon, that became much more than just a road to those of us that lived there?

I recall the last time I spoke to James. It was at my mother’s funeral and he was very sad. It struck me at the time that James was more upset than I was at the loss of my mother. He truly loved her and saw the best her. In truth I had been away for the latter part of her life serving in the military, and James became my mother’s true friend and support. You see, to James, family was what mattered more than anything… family and friends. He loved people deeply.

James was not perfect, but who among us is perfect? Yet James would do just about anything to help someone in need, and he was always there for family, never asking for anything in return. James was above all else a kind person. That is the way I remember him, on the day of my mother’s funeral when he came up to me with tears in his eyes and told me how much he loved my mom and how much he missed her. That is the one thing I would say to James daughter Meghan and to his beloved brothers, Gino, Jeff, Johnny and Mike – brothers that are mine too. I would say, I loved James very much and I will always miss him.

Rest in peace and love cousin, you deserve it.

~Rocky